Advice for the Best Man

On the list of common human phobias, public speaking actually ranks higher than death. But with the way some people speak in public, listening to them is a kind of death in itself anyway. You just wouldn't believe how many ways a simple toast can be screwed up. [That is, unless you're in the wedding biz.]

We have created this simple page to spare YOU, the bride & groom, and all their guests the awkwardness caused by someone who does not understand how to make a good toast.

The Best Man (and anyone asked to make a toast) should be sure to keep the toast extremely short & sweet. Being asked to "make a toast" does not mean being asked to host an episode of "This Is Your Life." We guarantee you that time will move more slowly for the audience than it seems to the person making the toast - 100% guaranteed.

3 Minutes is the absolute maximum.
3-5 sentences is the ideal length.

Most people do not understand how incredibly quickly the typical audience will lose its interest (and start mumbling) during a toast. If you need notes, you are saying too much. It is not a "speech," EVER. It is a toast. Speak from the heart. To avoid embarrassing yourself & boring your audience to tears, please use this format:

1. Be sure you actually have a drink in your
   hand when you walk up. (50% forget this)
2. Take the microphone from the MC & go stand behind the
   bride & groom at their table, or as close to this position as possible
   [The photographer & videographer will love you]
3. Introduce yourself & your relationship to the
   bride & groom (but not your life stories!)
4. Handling the microphone:
   1. Keep the microphone close to your chin or mouth,
      and do not fumble with it to look for controls
   2. Distant microphones cause screeching feedback.
      (60% screw this up)
   3. Fumbling looks inept, and the DJ controls the microphone anyway
5. Say something funny
   (better to kid the groom than the bride- this is not an equal society)
6. Say something charming about the newlyweds
   (mention ONE brief observation, or similar)
7. Make a Toast wishing-them-well (raise your glass confidently)
8. Thank the audience, hand the mic back to the MC &
   sit down with a smile; you are a sheer success!